Pushing beyond an Angel's Fears
by Krystina
Summary: **Completed** The story takes place 20 years after the series finale...Kelly, Kris and Sabrina are called back by Charlie to help him with another case, but is Kelly ready to return to the line of work that nearly got her killed 20 years ago.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer – I do not take credit for the characters Kelly, Kris, Sabrina, Charlie and Bosley. These characters are the creation of Aaron Spelling Productions. I have created all other characters that appear in the story.

Mid morning, in the home that Kelly Garrett and her husband of fifteen years, Christopher shares, Kelly has just finished the morning chores, and is getting ready to enjoy a quiet afternoon to herself. Their seven year old daughter, Kasey, wouldn't be home from school until 2:00, giving Kelly the afternoon to relax, something that she rarely gets to enjoy when her young daughter and her husband are home. The silence, however, was quickly replaced with the sound of the telephone ringing. Half hoping it was a telemarketer, she got up from the couch to check the caller id, but was shocked when she saw who it was. She quickly answered it, looking very concerned as she talked.

"Johnson residence", Kelly stated.

"Good morning Angel, this isn't a bad time, is it?", the familiar voice on the other end asked in a very caring manner.

"No Charlie, is there something wrong though, you don't call here very often anymore", Kelly asked curiously, still not believing he was on the other end.

"Everything is fine, I was actually calling to ask a favor of you. How would you like to work on another case for me" Charlie asked, taking Kelly off guard.

"Another case?" Kelly questioned, not believing she had just heard that. 

For the rest of the conversation, Kelly only half heard the details of the case. Charlie mentioned something about a series of robberies, and a close friend of Charlie's being involved. He never mentioned who else he asked to come back though, didn't even mention why he suddenly needed their help. Whatever the reason though, and no matter who else he invited back, Kelly could never deny Charlie a favor, not after everything he had done for her. Before she knew it, she was confirming that she would be at the office the following morning for a more complete case description, and reassuring him that she was sure this was something she wanted to do. The truth was though, as soon as Kelly hung up the phone, she felt afraid, afraid of what could happen and afraid of what everyone might think. Most of all, she was afraid of the memories that working for Charlie Townsend again might bring up, memories that took her years to erase. It might have been 20 years since Kelly was shot on the job, but she was almost certain that returning to that line of work, even now, would bring back the fears that she felt everyday, even years after the incident. There was no hiding from it now though, because Charlie Townsend had already called in the favor, and she had already given her word. 

That evening, Kelly didn't mention the phone call to Christopher, mostly because her entire past as a private investigator was unknown to him. Until then, she never dreamt that she would be returning to that line of work, and she still wasn't sure if it would be something she stuck with. For the time being there was no reason for him to know, until they went to bed for the night that was. 

Around 3 AM, Kelly jolted awake, covered with sweat, and trembling. Christopher was sitting besides her, his light on, looking very concerned. 


	2. Chapter 2

Kelly remembered very little about her nightmare, she just knew it matched the ones she had had 20 years ago. The image of the gun, the racket of the shot, and the pain that took over her body were all brought back to her. Christopher wanted to know what was wrong, he wanted her to open up to him, but she couldn't. Instead, she insisted she was fine, and headed for the kitchen for a glass of water. She never went back to bed that night. Instead, she sat alone in the kitchen, trying to pull herself back together.  
  
By the time it was time for Christopher to go to work and Kasey go to school, Kelly had already showered and dressed for the day that was in front of her. Her excuse for dressing up was that she had a meeting at Kasey's school later that morning and for the time being that reason seemed to satisfy Christopher's curiosity. He and Kasey left the house together, just like they did every morning, leaving Kelly alone. After making sure his car pulled out of the driveway, Kelly went up to their bedroom and into their closet where she pulled her revolver out of an old shoe box that lay on the top shelf. She had hid it there after the incident, and hadn't looked at it since. Just putting it in her purse made her feel uneasy. She knew it might be a necessity however, and tried to ignore the feelings as she headed out to her own car.  
  
By the time she actually arrived at the Townsend Agency, the other two angels, whoever they were, were already there so Kelly naturally pulled into the last spot. As she approached the door to the office though, she started to feel uneasy. Through the window, she could see Bosley sitting at his desk, looking as loving as always, but she couldn't see anyone else, keeping the other angels identities still a mystery. For a while she just stood at the door, unseen by anyone inside the office, trying to convince herself that she had nothing to fear. After a few deep breaths, Kelly opened the door and entered, the room growing silent as she did so. She could now see that the other two angels were Sabrina and Kris, and they looked shocked to see her. Bosley was quick to break the tension though by getting up and giving Kelly a huge hug. Sabrina followed, but Kris just sort of stared at Kelly a little longer then the others, before eventually going over and hugging her herself, as well as commenting that she looked good. Charlie had yet to call, giving the four of them a brief opportunity to catch up on Kelly's life.  
  
"Is that a wedding band that I see on your finger?" Sabrina asked curiously.  
  
"Yeah. 15 years now, and one daughter." Kelly replied with pride.  
  
"How old is she?" Bosley asked this time.  
  
"Seven, but getting bigger every day." Kelly stated.  
  
Although the conversation went on for the remaining couple of minutes before Charlie called Kelly only half-paid attention to what Sabrina and Bosely said. Instead she focused on Kris's silence, and the fact that she still hadn't stopped starring at her. Once Charlie did call though, Kelly did her best to listen harder to the case description. The basis was Charlie had a friend that was accused of some robberies he didn't commit, and asked Charlie to find the real culprit. After trying for several months though, Charlie had been unsuccessful and he was running out of time, which was why he needed the angels help. He wasn't lying either, because before she knew it, Kelly had already been assigned to interview a suspect, with Kris no less, and there was no getting out of it. Before she knew it, she was in Kris's car as they began the drive. Things started off very silently at first, in matter of fact, Kelly was sure that they couldn't have less to say to each other.  
  
"I think its safe to say that what we said to each other 20 years ago, we didn't mean." Kris finally said after the silence became too much. The bag of worms was open, and Kelly knew that during the remaining 20 minutes of the car ride, they would not talk about anything else. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Don't you agree?" Kris nervously asked after Kelly didn't say anything. The truth was, Kelly wasn't paying enough attention to respond. Her mind had wandered by then to the exact day that Kris had mentioned, the exact second almost.  
  
It had been a month after the shooting, and Kelly's recovery was slow. Her motor skills had been affected, and she needed daily physical therapy to rebuild them. By the time the first month passed however, Kelly had grown impatient, and was moody very often. By then, Julie had already moved to New York, leaving Kris and Bosley to handle the caseload. They had limited the number of cases that they accepted, but things were still hard, for everyone. Usually though, the hour or two when Kris visited her were the positive hours in the day, the hours where Kelly could forget all of the problems she was faced with. On that one day though, the hour that Kris spent with her was quite possible one of the hardest times that Kelly had been faced with.  
  
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Kris had asked, the same thing that she asked everyday when she arrived.  
  
"What do you think? I feel horrible! It's not like that's anything new." Kelly had snapped. Her head throbbed still, and her muscles ached. It didn't help much that she wasn't making much progress.  
  
"Sorry, I'm just trying to cheer you up. We solved the Brennaman case today, nabbed the guy. He'll be spending at least the next 20 years behind bars, more if we're lucky." Kris stated, all of this to get Kelly to think about something other then her discomfort.  
  
"I wasn't really thinking about it." Kelly once again snapped, sounding a little more annoyed this time though.  
  
"I know, just trying to keep you informed. So what's new?" Kris asked, desperate to get Kelly to brighten up.  
  
"What type of question is that? What could possible be new when I've been stuck in here for a month. It's not like any of this physical therapy is working. Why don't they just send me home!" Kelly raged.  
  
"Look Kelly, I'm just trying to help you. I know you're in pain, and I know you're frustrated, but that doesn't mean you have to shut everyone out related to what happened. I wasn't the one who shot you, none of us were. That guys in jail, where he belongs, and you'll get past this." Kris tried her best to remain calm, hoping Kelly would follow suit.  
  
"You think this is about you! None of this is about you! I couldn't care less about you right now! You come in here everyday and tell me about the cases you solve, and the guys you meet, but really I don't care!" Kelly shouted. Her voice was bolder then Kris had ever heard it. In matter of fact, Kris was seeing an entirely different side of Kelly, a side she wasn't particularly fond of.  
  
"If you don't care so much, then why were you so glad to see me all of the other days. You know what, don't bother to answer. If you want to go through this alone then fine, I can arrange that. Had I known this was how you were going to be though, I would have left when Julie left." And on that note, Kris left the room, not to come back, not even on the day that Kelly was released, and especially not when Kelly finally made the decision to not return to work.  
  
It was through other people, primarily Bosley, Charlie and Jill, that Kelly got filled in on the next 15 years of Kris's life. She moved to Chicago, and got married, but that soon ended in divorce. She continued her career as a private investigator, and eventually opened her own agency where she single handily solved cases. For the past five years though, Kelly heard nothing, until now that was. After 20 years of silence, Kelly and Kris were once again alone in an awkward situation. This time though, Kelly knew things couldn't end the way they had, she didn't want them to. It wasn't just because they had to work together for at least the next couple of days either. Kris had been one of Kelly's best friends at one time, and Kelly regretted the fact that it was because of her that they hadn't talked in the last 20 years.  
  
"No, you're right. That was a long time ago, and we we're both under a lot of stress. We didn't know what we were saying." Kelly finally replied, as the tension between them finally began to ease.  
  
They continued to talk about it after that, but Kelly was still bothered by something, and she knew Kris knew it. No matter how much they resolved though, Kelly wouldn't let her know what that was. That had to be her secret, no exceptions. If anyone else found out, no one would be able to look at her the same way, all of the respect that she earned would be gone, and that was the one thing she couldn't have. No, Kris may be her friend again, but she could never know what was really bothering Kelly, never. What Kelly didn't know however, was that would be impossible. 


	4. Chapter 4

Not much happened once Kelly and Kris arrived at the suspect's house. He was a reasonable unintelligent man that had very limited information that related to the case. Maybe that was why Kris was able to pay so much attention to how quiet Kelly was, quieter then she usually was when they questioned a suspect. In matter of fact, she seemed very tense, and looked like she was almost starring at the guys hands the entire time. Kris asked Kelly if she was ok on their way back to the office, but Kelly didn't say much, just that she wasn't doing anything out of the norm. For the time being, Kris opted to believe that, but deep down she knew that that wasn't the truth.  
  
Kelly didn't stay long at the office, mostly because she had to get home before Christopher got worried. Once home, she proceeded to make dinner like she did every night, and tried her best to act like nothing was wrong. She helped Kasey with her homework, and then read her a story before bed. Once in her own bed though, she found herself under Christopher's scrutiny. Some how he had found out that there had been no meeting at Kasey's school, and wanted to know why she had lied to him. She just couldn't get herself to speak the truth though, she didn't want to get into that story, so instead, she created another lie, one that would account for being out for the next couple of days. For some reason, he believed her once again, and on that note they turned the lights off to go to bed.  
  
At 3AM though, Kelly was once again jolted awake, this time screaming. The sheets around her were drenched with sweat, and her body was trembling. Christopher was sitting up besides her, his hands on her shoulders, obviously trying to calm her down. He was worried, he wanted to know what was going on, but she couldn't bare to tell him the truth. Instead, she pretended nothing happened, and went into the kitchen for a glass of water. She remained there for the rest of the night, except this time, it wasn't as easy for her to pull herself together. The images of her nightmares were starting to implant themselves in her mind, making forgetting harder and harder to do.  
  
Things remained pretty much the same for the rest of the week. Kelly continued to have nightly nightmares that seemed to get worse and worse as the nights slipped by, and Kelly was becoming more and more tired. For the most part though, she was able to hide her fears while at work, and she was able to keep Christopher's supisions low. This all changed though on one single night, the night before the day that she feared the most. 


	5. Chapter 5

With the case moving as swiftly as it was it wasn't surprising when they had it solved not even a week after being assigned to it. The thing was though, the culprit was a notorious robber, one that did his work with excellence, and left few clues behind. They would need a confession of some sort to get any judge to convict him, and that meant a stake out to guarantee that he would not have a chance to escape. Just the words made Kelly feel uneasy, she couldn't imagine how she would feel when they actually got there.  
  
The night before the stake out, Kelly was more restless then ever. Every time she shut her eyes, all of the images of that last stake out, the one 20 years ago, came rushing back to her. She could feel every feeling that had gone through her body, from the uncertainty, to the fear, to the pain. No detail was left out, and before long she discovered that it would be easier on herself if she just stayed awake rather then fall asleep. Christopher was more concerned then ever, but he still knew nothing of the truth, and that was the way she was determined to keep it, in fear of looking weak in his eyes. So instead of heading to the kitchen at 3AM after a nightmare, Kelly just started the night there.  
  
Six cups of coffee and 4 hours into the night, Kelly could hear the sound of small feet making their way towards her. It was Kasey, teddy bear at hand, and a frighten expression on her face.  
  
"Mommy, I had a nightmare!" Kasey declared, the fear apparent in her voice.  
  
"What about sweetie?" Kelly asked as Kasey climbed onto her lap.  
  
As Kasey proceeded to tell her about the monsters and ghosts that had terrorized her sleep, Kelly began to think about her own nightmares. She could only wish that hers were as full of make believe as Kasey's were, but she knew that they were not. She had lived her nightmares, and now they haunted her, for how long, she wasn't sure. Despite everything though, she calmed Kasey down and gave her a glass of water. After a few minutes, Kasey became sleepy again and Kelly carried her back to her bedroom where she placed her in bed. As she kissed her goodnight, Kasey reached up and placed her hand on the small but visible scar on Kelly's forehead, her forever reminder of what had happened. Having her hand there, although for a brief second, lead Kelly to understand how it would have felt had she been conscious after the shot, had she been able to remember more.  
  
Kelly later fell asleep at the kitchen table, her body too tired to stay up any longer. As she fell asleep though, her hand rested on the same spot on her forehead, and her mind wandered back to the exact moment in time when she got the scar. Unlike other nights though, this time Kelly saw and felt every second of that day, her mind filling in the moments she couldn't remember with moments of terror. Kelly could only imagine what would happen the next day though. Once again she would have to put herself in danger, once again she would have to stake out a man of violence. This time however, Kelly had a lot more to lose. 


	6. Chapter 6

When Kelly woke up that morning, her body ached from sleeping on the hard kitchen chair, and her mind seemed to be racing with the images that had terrorized her dreams. Standing across from her was Christopher who had proceeded to get Kasey's lunch ready, as he watched over Kelly very concerned. He couldn't understand why she choose to sleep in the kitchen that night and why she couldn't sleep without screaming. Instead of just explaining everything though, Kelly put her pride first and explained it as Kasey had had a nightmare and she feel asleep in the kitchen while calming her down. For her sake, he was already late for work so the conversation ended there.  
  
As Kelly made her own way to work that morning, her entire body was uneasy. She knew that this would be the day that they caught their criminal, but that meant a stake out first. She was determined to hide her fears still, so she entered their office with confidence, not showing the slightest sign of exhaustion. When she arrived, Kris and Sabrina were already there, and Bosley was on the phone with Charlie. The plan was to arrive at the suspect's home around 10 that morning, and then they would stay there until he made himself present.  
  
After determining to take Sabrina's car, they all left the office, Kelly seeming to move a little slower then everyone else. The entire ride there, Kelly tried to hide the fact that her breaths were getting deeper and deeper, with less time in between. Her heart was racing, and she found that just keeping her hand on top of the revolver that she had hidden in her pocket helped to calm her down. As they parked in front of the house, Kelly tried her hardest to keep the images of the last time she had done this out of her head. Instead, she concentrated on her the faces of her daughter and husband and how devastated they would be if anything happened to her. She had to survive this stake out, there was no question about it.  
  
Surprisingly to them, they were not outside long when the suspect made his appearance. As soon as they had sight of him, Kelly, Kris and Sabrina got out of the car, leaving Bosley to watch out for them. As they approached the man, he seemed to get hostile, causing Kelly especially to get nervous. Whatever would happen next was out of her control. 


	7. Chapter 7

Despite Kelly's deepest fears, she followed Kris and Sabrina as they calmly approached the suspect. They were pretending to be interested in the car that he was trying to sell, and asked as many questions as it would take to make him feel more at ease. Once they sensed that he was, Kris brought up the money issue, stating that they wouldn't be able to pay him until after their next job. This interested the suspect, and he began to pry them for more details. They were careful to not lead him too much, to guarantee that a judge wouldn't rule that they tricked him into a confession. It wasn't long, however, before he asked them if they would be interested in a deal, one that would help them out. Naturally, they said ok to it, and he began to go through the details. He would help them with their "job", as he still referred to it, if they would help him with one of his. In return, they would get the car, at not charge. He frequently referred to himself as an expert at this certain "job" and although that would help, they needed a flat out confession, so unsurely, Kelly took over the conversation and began to push the limit.  
  
"Say we agree to this, how do we know we are all talking about the same thing." Kelly asked him, hoping that she wouldn't tip him off.  
  
"Because unless you're a bunch of wimpy cops, then why wouldn't we be." he responded. Just the fact that he made that comment worried Kris and Sabrina, although not as much as it worried Kelly.  
  
"I guess we have a problem then, because we don't do deals with out being sure that we're getting exactly what we want." Kelly stated, praying that she wasn't pushing to far and pissing him off.  
  
Although she could tell that he was getting suspicious of them, her plan worked and he sputtered out the word robbery for them. They had gotten what they wanted, a verbal confession, now all they needed to do was gain control of the situation, mostly by making sure he wasn't armed. So as Sabrina signaled for Bosley to call the police to the scene, Kris and Kelly both placed their hands on their weapons to be sure that they would be ready for whatever happened next. Within seconds, Bosley had gotten out of the car with his gun drawn and pointed at the suspect. Kris, Kelly and Sabrina all did the same, but that did not keep the man from running in the opposite direction. As he ran, the angels and Bosley followed suit, except he had turned so many corners and crossed through so many yards that by the time he was out of breath, it was only Kelly who was still behind him.  
  
There they were, Kelly and the suspect, trapped in an alley, alone. Kelly's gun was still drawn, and she was trying her hardest to keep it pointed at him but her eyes kept wandering to his hands, which at the time were rested on his knees as he struggled to breathe. Short breaths however, wouldn't keep him from drawing his own weapon from his sock, a gun very similar to hers, and pointing it at her.  
  
From down the road where Kris and Sabrina were desperately searching for them, they heard a gunshot and scream, very similar to Kelly's, break the silence that had laid upon them. Someone had been shot, and in order to find out whom, they would have to find Kelly. 


	8. Chapter 8

Kris, Bosley and Sabrina quickly followed the echo of the gun shot, but by the time that they reached the correct alley, the echo had long faded. As they turned the corner, none of them knew what to expect. Either Kelly would be on the ground shot, or the suspect would be. They knew there was no alternative. Kris was the first to see the scene that lay in front of them. Quickly, she placed her gun in her pocket, knowing that it would not be needed anymore. In front of her, Kelly was standing, her gun still drawn and her finger still on the trigger. The suspect lay on the ground, blood slowly staining his shirt, his wound obviously being to the chest. As Sabrina and Bosley tended the situation with the suspect, Kris slowly approached Kelly, careful not to spook her in the meanwhile.  
  
"Kelly, it's Kris…I'm going to take the gun away now…ok", Kris warned the shocked Kelly. Without a response, Kris gently placed her hands on the gun and carefully removed it from Kelly's hands. Kelly made no movement either way, except for when Kris put her arm around her after handing the weapon to Sabrina. It was then that Kris realized that Kelly had started to cry, her emotions on the situation finally coming through. As the police came and started doing their investigation, Kris stayed with Kelly. Neither of them said a word, but Kris knew that their friendship meant more now then ever before. She wasn't lying when she said that what happened between them 20 years ago didn't matter anymore, what mattered was that she was there for her friend now, when her fears were finally coming out. 


	9. Chapter 9

The following morning, Kelly arrived at work a little earlier then she had the other days of that week. When she got there, she wasn't surprised when there was only one other car there, what did surprise her though was that that car belonged to Kris. As she entered the office, she wasn't sure what to expect. After the shooting the day before, everything else that happened was a blur, and she wasn't sure how she had reacted. The worried look on Kris' face though, answered all of her questions, and she soon found herself wishing that she hadn't gotten there quiet as early. Despite wishes to avoid it though, she sat down on the couch, unwilling to start the conversation.  
  
"Are you ok Kelly?" Kris finally asked.  
  
"I'm better." Kelly responded. She still didn't want her friend to know about the nightmares that now haunted her throughout the day.  
  
"Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?" Kris nervously asked. Kelly had been so close to letting her emotions go the other day, and now she seemed to be claming up again.  
  
"I got scarred. He fired at me first Kris. The bullet barely missed me. It could have been me that was on the ground when you came." Kelly blurted out. She figured that that much was obvious.  
  
"It's normal though Kelly. What you went through 20 years ago was traumatizing, and because you've been hiding your fears for all this time, they're hitting harder now then they would have before. If you stop pushing us away though, we can help you past this." Kris pleaded. She knew that if she were going to get Kelly to open up, it would have to be now.  
  
"I'm sorry. I just wish I could erase it from my memory. That the nightmares would just disappear. It hasn't always been like this Kris. Before this week, I never even thought about it. I went from day to day just like everyone else did. I slept at night and had no problems getting through the day." Kelly finally said after some silence. She was tired of staying quiet, she was hopeful that by talking about it, she'd be able to get past it.  
  
"Nightmares…Kelly, why didn't you tell me this before. What does Christopher think?" Kris was wondering.  
  
"He doesn't know, he doesn't know about any of it. Not Charlie, not you, not my working here, not even the shooting.", Kelly confessed.  
  
The next several minutes were filled with more confessions by Kelly, and more comforting thoughts from Kris. Before they knew it, Sabrina and Bosley had shown up, and with that, Kelly once again grew silent. It wasn't that she was unwilling to share her fears with them, she just felt guilty that they would all know, and Christopher wouldn't. So instead, they talked about little things as they waited for Charlie to call. When he did, he was quick to congratulate them on yet another job well down. It was after the "how glad he was that he could count on them" speech though that the real shocker occurred.  
  
"Anyway Angels, after witnessing your success on this last case, and realizing just how much this agency has been missing since you all left, I started wondering what the possibility would be of the three of you returning to work here." Charlie asked them. Just hearing the words but Kelly into shock. Kris and Sabrina were quick with yes answers, but there was an eerie silence from Kelly. Talking with Kris before had helped to ease the fears that Kelly constantly felt, but they were still there and she wasn't sure if they would ever go away. After a long silence though, she made her mind up. The only way she was going to get past what had happened 20 years ago was to be faced with the same situation time and time again. By working for Charlie again, she would be in the perfect environment. With that in mind, she quickly blurted out her yes answer, a smile crossing both Kris and Sabrina's faces as she said it. Everyone seemed to be happy with her decision, now all she had to do was to tell Christopher 


	10. Chapter 10 - Final Chapter

When Christopher got home that evening, he was surprised with what he saw. Not only was dinner on the table, and candles lit, but more importantly, Kelly seemed a little calmer, happier all most. Eager to figure out what was going on, he quickly kissed her hello.  
  
"Hey you. What's all of this? Where's Kasey?" Christopher asked his wife.  
  
"Kasey's spending the night at a friend's house so that you and me can talk alone." Kelly told him.  
  
"Talk, what about?" Christopher curiously asked.  
  
"Let's talk about it over dinner. You go get changed while I finish setting the table." Kelly said while pushing him toward the stairs. He didn't waste much time getting changed, mostly because he was eager to hear what his wife had to say. He had been so worried about her the past week, just the thought that maybe she would finally say what was wrong excited him.  
  
When he went back downstairs, Kelly was sitting at the table as she put some of the food on both of their plates. He sat down in the same seat that he had been sitting in for the past 15 years, but that wasn't apart of Kelly's plan. Instead, she motioned for him to take the seat next to her, the seat that was usually reserved for Kasey. Thoroughly confused now, he sat down next to her and began eating his dinner, until he realized that Kelly wasn't eating. Instead, she was just sort of watching him, an almost nervous look on her face.  
  
"Is there something wrong Kelly, you're not eating." Christopher asked her, a little concerned again.  
  
"It's not that something's wrong, but more of there being something that I have to tell you." Kelly confessed. She couldn't believe that after 15 years of marriage, she was just telling him this now.  
  
"Ok, well, what is it. You're worrying me, you haven't been acting like yourself the last couple of days." Christopher asked, hoping that that would be what she wanted to talk about.  
  
"I know, and I should have told you all of this before, but I didn't which is going to make it only harder to tell you now. You see…" Kelly began. From there, she started her story, this time not skipping anything. She first mentioned the police academy, and then her employment with Charlie Townsend, and then the day of the shooting. That was the hardest, because of how vividly she remembered it, or at least, how vividly she thought she remembered it. After that, she moved on to the past week, to where she had really been. She started with the phone call and then the stake out and finally the job opportunity that Charlie had given her. When she was finally done, she looked into Christopher's eyes and was disturbed by the emptiness that she saw. He looked beyond shocked, but hurt almost. What had she expected, this was more then a little secret, it was a life changing experience that she had hid from him for the past 15 years. What she didn't expect was him getting up without a word and walking away. He went straight upstairs, not looking back. She followed him to their bedroom where she sat on the bed as he starred out the window. They sat in silence for a long time before he was able to look at her again.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me this before Kelly. Why the big secret?" Christopher asked desperately.  
  
"I don't know. I didn't tell anyone really. The only people who knew were the people that knew me then. After I had finally recovered from it, I guess I just tried to put it out of my mind. If I didn't talk about it, I didn't have nightmares about it, it worked that way. Then Charlie called and asked for my help. Just the idea of being out there again brought the nightmares back. It had nothing to do with you." Kelly tried to explain.  
  
"Nightmares!? Kelly, you should have told me. I could have tried to help. Why didn't you think of that." Christopher asked, unable to understand why his wife felt she had to keep this from him.  
  
"Because I thought I could get through it myself. I realize I can't now though. I may not have told you this before, but I'm telling you now, because I need you now. I want to take this position Christopher, but only if you're ok with it." she told him. All she could think about though was how she should have told him 1 5 years ago.  
  
"It's not my decision to make Kelly. If you want to, and you're sure about it, then take it. I won't hold you back, you know that. Will I worry about you, yes, but I won't tell you no." Christopher told her. Slowly but surely he was getting past the shock that went with everything.  
  
"I want to take it. I need to get past what happened and I think being in that situation again and again will help. And you don't have to worry, I can take care of myself." Kelly reassured him.  
  
With that, Christopher joined his wife on the bed and put his arm around her. He knew he was lucky to find the woman he was destined to spend the rest of his life with, but now he really understood just how lucky he actually was. Just the thought of losing her before he ever meet her scared him, but Kelly was strong, he knew that. It wouldn't be easy getting use to the idea of her working as a private investigator, but he would figure it out. For now though, he just wanted to hold his wife close to him, and he was pretty sure that was the only place Kelly wanted to be. 


End file.
